As seeing that I don't whinge about DLC, therefore everything I do whinge about does matter, EAT THAT DAD!
Yeah! De Morgan's Law and shit!
Anyway DLC is an acronym for Downloadable Content, mainly because DC is already two acronyms and we'll all get way too confused.
Especially if DC made a game that takes place in DC, and then releases DC for the game. Making it DC for DC's game about DC.
Hence we say DLC.
So DLC is essentially add-on content for games that have been out for an extended period of time. To those uninformed, those commercials for that game that ruins lives and has like the Kung-Fu Panda on it, yeah that's DLC. Well actually it's an Add-On which is considered to be a more expansive DLC experience.
Yeah that's what I'm referring to.
For the musically inclined readers, DLC's are like LPs and Add-Ons are like EPs. And I guess that makes software updates like singles.
But for the sake of this post, let's just lump DLC together with Add-Ons because really we're talking about Add-Ons and not really DLC, and the only reason why I even brought DLC up in the first place was because I wanted to make the DC for DC's DC game joke. Which wasn't even funny anyway.
So the reason why I bring this up, is because
A) Young white males are entitled and stupid (I should know I am one)
B) People just repeat what they read on the internet without forming their own opinions (Ron Paul 2012)
C) Two great games are out this season and they're getting a lot of flak for being a lot like their predecessors.
The two games I'm referring to are Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel and Assassin's Creed: Rogue, which are sequels/prequels (both in each case) to Borderlands 2 and Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag (why it's called Rogue and not Assassin's Creed 5: Blacker Flags, is hard to explain, especially considering Black Flag is actually the sixth Assassin's Creed game and not the fourth, and only called the fourth because it's a prequel to Assassin's Creed: III, which is a direct sequel to Assassin's Creed: Revelations which is actually the fourth game in the series.)
These games are coming back with great reviews and are totally worth getting into since they offer awesome experiences, but they're being dismissed by the whinging masses because they look too much like the games that came before them.
Much like how people complained that Back to the Future: II: There and Back Again, Again (one of the few movie titles which a comma) wasn't worth seeing because it takes place in roughly the same time and place as Back to the Future: Actually We're Going Back to the Present; but Objectively Speaking, Yes We Are Going Back to the Future (the only movie title with a semi-colon in it).
One of the biggest complaints was that the UI looks the same.
Once again for those who aren't in on the know-how, UI means, User Interface, it's all of the stuff that the user....interfaces with, for example, the window you're reading this in on your computer/phone/tablet/laptop/phaplet/watch/whatever-they-think-of-next is this Blog's UI.
So all of the little icons on the screen when playing around in Assassin's Creed is the User Interface.
I would like to point out, this is like you bought a 2012 Toyota Camry, three years later saw that the 2015 Model looked different, took it for a test drive that only consisted of you sitting in it, and noticing that the fonts on all of the dials were the same and that everything was where it was last time.
The damn car could travel through time at 88 MPH so that you can go pork your mom at her senior prom back in the 50's, or find your dad and sent him back to pork your mom on prom night in the 50's (Terminator and Back to the Future share two plot similarities), but you'd never know since you're all hung up on the font choices for the speedometer.
And then you complain to the Toyota saying you shouldn't pay full price for the car that is essentially the same as your old one, since the check engine light is in the small place as it was three years ago.
You stupid, entitled young white male.
This essentially what the whinging masses are calling for, for both Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel and Assassin's Creed: Rogue, they don't want to pay full price for games that look the same.
Even though you're playing as different characters, experience a different story, and exploring a new setting, they're still complaining.
Let's break it down actually:
Assassin's Creed IV (VI): Black Flags - West Indies 1710's, playing as a pirate trying to find his way in the world
Assassin's Creed (V) (VII): Rogue - Canada, French-Indian War (1754-1763), playing as guy killing all of his college buddies because of a prank they pulled that caused him to accidentally slaughter an entire town of innocent people
(Assassin's Creed is a very complex story)
Borderlands 2: A planet called Pandora (different Pandora in Avatar: Dancing With Smurfs, but sharing the characteristic of everything trying to kill you), after Borderlands, playing as a cyborg ninja, a space witch, a soldier with PTSD of the most hilarious kind, a gun-crazed dwarf (sorry, "short person"), a mutated murdering psycho, and teenage girl with a killer robot sidekick
Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel: takes place on Pandora's moon (where everything still tries to kill you but with an Australian accent), after Borderlands but before Borderlands 2, hence the whole "Pre-Sequel" thing, and you play as a female Captain America gladiator, Malcom Reynolds with a uterus, a crazed cyborg who is not a ninja, and a murdering robot who has his own murdering robot sidekick.
See totally different games.
They want both games to be Add-Ons for the previous installments.
To them I say, you're all a bunch of fucking idiots.
Ok let's talk money since this is the root of everything anyway.
(Everything is evil, just look at pop music)
A) Most 30-40 hour Add-Ons, cost full price ($60) anyway
B) You paid full price for a 30-40 hour experience with the original games
C) These games will give you a 30-40 Hour Experience
D) 20 hour Add-on's cost half full price (usually $30)
E) So why not just buy the damn game because if it was just an Add-On IT WOULD FUCKING COST THE SAME AMOUNT ANYWAY
Seriously, things are going to cost money in the world, because if everyone got everything for free, no one would do anything. Hence why the Soviet Union fell.
Not because of famine, extreme divides in classes in a classless society, war, infrastructure collapse, David Hasselhoff, or Ronald Reagan.
It collapsed because no one bought anything any more, because nothing was worth buying anymore.
The world runs on Americans buying things we technically don't need, and that's how the world's being working since Hitler kicked the bucket into his skull along with croaking down a cyanide pill.
So shut up, buy the damn game, help keep the global economy afloat.
Or just buy it used in 10 months, like you're really missing all that much.
Still easier to explain than this.
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