Carpet staples. Or at least that's what I call them, because when you step on one with your barefoot it feels like you just staple gunned yourself, in the foot.
Easily the weirdest external feature of the human body
It happens when the carpet begins to peel off of the floor where it is stabled to at the seems of where it meets the wood or tile, and it folds back on itself ever so slightly, thus creating an incidental man made bear trap. Well actually bear traps are man made, but the incidental part rings true, unless you're a masochist.
I ain't judging
The real problem with the carpet staple trap, is that it's more psychological than physical. It's not that the staples hurt you every time you step over that part of the carpet, it's that it may or may not hurt you depending on how the carpet folded itself, which has to do with humidity, foot traffic, and solar flares. Also, probably Global Warming, the science is still out on that one.
It becomes a sadistic version of the Skinner Box, well actually the Skinner Box was pretty sadistic to begin with, with the whole revealing how humanity is still slaves to our own stupid monkey biology thing.
Was basically a Vegas Vacation for the mice though
The comparison being, the Skinner Box experiment consists of a mice (or bird, infant human, whatevs) in a box with a lever that gives it food. The subject pulls the lever, it geta a treat. Then the lever stops giving it food on every lever pull, and it then starts to give it food randomly, and no matter the odds of getting the food, the subject will still pull the lever just as often, even to the point in some cases that the lever stopped working all together.
Hence how Las Vegas has made all its money. Besides drugs and prostitution.
The carpet staple dilemma is like the Skinner Box, but instead you have to pull the lever, and the lever will randomly shove a rusty stable into the sole of your foot.
Which is better than what happens when you don't pay your gambling debts in Vegas, but still, hurts like hell.
It creates this hostile environment with that certain section of the house, like an abusive relationship you can't seem to come to terms with leaving. You HAVE to get to that section of the house, but you don't know if you'll walk along fine, or be in the need of a tetanus shot later. You're careful, you take wide strides and step lightly, and then one day you get cocky or you forget, and you're right back to square one.
Thus creating the never ending circle of fear that is carpet staples.
No comments:
Post a Comment