Look, everything is going to be OK. I want you to know that. Life seems scary, because life is always scary. But you know what life has that isn't scary: Emma Stone and puppies.
What else could you want?
Understand that there's always more good in life than bad. Yes there's wars, terrorists, deadly diseases, Gordon Klingenschmitt, etc.
But there's some much more to life than those horrible things.
Even war has its bright spots
Life is filled with beautiful things, and we as humans enjoy them more than anything, yet we as a society we dwell on the bad parts because we keep being told that the world is on fire.
Judging by how our air quality is getting better it seems less likely
You know what the life expectancy of an American was in 1970? For males it was 67 years-old, for females it was just under 75 year-old. Now in 2014 it's 76 for males and 81 for females.
Can you imagine living in a world where you think you'll only live into your 70's? You don't have to, because we don't.
Russian nukes? They'll be gone by 2020.
China just agreed to cut carbon emissions in a partnership with The United States.
Putin just got his comeuppance for hitting on the Chinese First Lady.
He got friendzoned several seconds later.
See this guy?
This hunk of man meat.
He had ebola, now he doesn't. That's good.
Ebola in Africa? It's on the decline now. We're all going to be OK. Here's a list of things that exist and should make you feel better.
iPads help teach autistic kids how to communicate
Baby otters exist
This is a real place.
Thor has a baby.
Emma Stone still exists
And the future is going to be even more awesome.
NASA IS GOING TO START TESTING WARP DRIVES BEFORE THE END OF THE CENTURY
They even have cool renders
We as a culture are finally rediscovering our interest in space exploration and we're going back to the moon before 2030, we're going to be on Mars before 2050.
SERIOUSLY WE'RE GOING TO BE MOVING FASTER THAN LIGHT SOON.
Us, the little monkeys living on a rock covered in water orbiting the most uninteresting star in the universe, and we're about to punch the universe in the face screaming
"WE MAKE THE RULES NOW!"
If you look up "mediocre" in the dictionary you'll see a picture of the sun.
How is that not amazing? Also, we're on the verge of curing cancer. We've cured two babies of HIV. Smallpox, the thing that has killed more humans than anything else on the planet, it was eradicated, as in the World Health Organization used the term "eradicated" because that's to most badass word to use, back in 1979 when us little monkeys made smallpox no longer a thing. Also Rinderpest was eradicated back in 2011, but who cares about that, but you should because that's awesome.
We're punching nature in the face screaming
"WE MAKE THE RULES NOW"
Look at this map.
It's colorful.
Do you see what that map means?
The almost the entirety of the western world has team up with almost all of the middle east to take on a single threat.
When's the last time you saw a headline saying "Arab Nations Work Together For Same Cause", never, until now.
You see that, that's France, France is committing it's Air Force to help defeat ISIS.
You know who didn't help us take down Saddam? France.
For how scary ISIS is, they've managed to unite a world that hasn't been united for a very long time.
"But what about Russia?" you might ask.
Other than Putin managing to embarrass himself in-front of the largest population of people on the planet. Portugal as taken upon itself to police Russia.
Portugal.
They would be Spain's Canada, but they don't speak Spanish.
Yes, Portugal the tiny little tumor (no offense Portugal you're awesome) on Spain that hasn't been relevant since the early 1700's, is busy escorting Russian planes back home when they fly into someone else's airspace.
Which is hilarious considering how big and scary Russia is suppose to be, yet they're being told to go to their room by Portugal of all places.
Sweden is even getting in on the action.
Sweden, the country that wouldn't even fight the Nazis with the rest of us, isn't taking any of Russia's shit.
Oh going back to space, we as humanity have landed a robot on a comet.
That's crazy.
This is crazy.
I'm going to give a minor spoiler to latest Chris Nolan flick.
It all turns out OK.
Hey speaking of space, Guardians of the Galaxy comes out on DVD the first week of December.
Like there's anything else to look forward to this year.
Also this.
Seriously, on the subject of Marvel Movies.
Go back to 2007 (hypothetically or in real life depending on how time travel testing ends up) and tell the first person you find that in the next year, Steve Jobs will be a household name, Apple will rule the cell phone market, Robert Downey Jr. will be the biggest name in Hollywood, Iron Man will be the biggest superhero in America, and the President of the United States will be African American.
The person will look at you like you're mad, and mostly likely be saying:
"Is that the guy who makes the music players? How can you innovate cell phones? For what, selling his drug stash? Iron who? Yeah now you're making stuff up."
It'll look a lot like this.
You know what else is crazy, Superman and Batman are going to be in the same film together. That's been on the books since the dawn of time, and yet in less than two years we're going to see that.
THAT'S CRAZY.
Think about the world we're living in, and all that we have to look forward to in the near future. Not just the movies that I'm spazzing out about, but how close we are to solving issues that have plagued humanity since the dawn of time.
Cancer has been in recorded history since the ancient Egyptians, and we're going to cure it in the next half-century. Think about the scope of that. That's 1600 B.C, at least. That's more than 3600 years of humans trying to figure out how to cure it. And we're going to live to see it. That's crazy.
Now for some unfortunate things that we need to see the bright side of.
For starters Virgin Galactic suffered a loss when a prototype spaceship crashed, killing one pilot and injuring another. My heart goes out the family and friends of the deceased pilot, and I hope the other makes a speedy recovery. But for all that loss we need to realize, we are living in a time when a human made spaceship prototype crashed and no one thought it was out of place. Think about that.
Yeah this hemp has me really stuck on the space thing.
We need to find out who dinged-donged-ditched us.
Yes, we still live in a pro-patriarchal unequal society, but we have got see how much progress this latest feminist movement is making. People are having polite discussions about it, we're finding parts of our cultural identity we don't want to talk about, and we're talking about them. Rape kits are finally finding their places in the court room. We're finally discussing how gender roles of the 1950's haven't applied to modern society in a decades. Things are changing for the better. We even found out that America sent the first lesbian into space back in 1983, granted Sally Ride died while never telling anyone but her closest friends of her 27 year long relationship that she had to keep secret for fear of the hatred that she could receive, but it's amazing to think that after a few decades we're living in a society that wouldn't think that's out of place at all.
Yes, there are still about 20 states that have yet to legalize gay-marriage. But think about how much progress that's been made. After the AIDS-scare of the 80's, gays were considered to be more or less lepers in society. It wasn't until the 90's that the US finally stop recognizing homosexuality as a mental disorder. In 2003 the US lifted a ban on sodomy, effectively legalizing the right to be gay. In 2004 Massachusetts was the first state to legalize gay marriage, and now we're here 10 years later and a majority of the US supports it.
10 years. That's crazy fast.
What the hell Kansas, we expect more from you.
Yes, we live in a racial unequal society, but by 2024 a majority of Texans will be Mexican-American. Soon after Caucasian-Americans will join the rest of the minorities of the US and the population growth of all groups will balance out. We'll become a nation of minorities. Yes there's always going to be the racist bigots, but we live in a society today that shuns them, for the most part. I'm not going to sugarcoat this one, this is still a major problem, but it's gotten a lot better over the years.
Here's a little history, the US lifted a ban on mix-race marriages in 1967. I don't know about the rest of you, but the idea of a ban on a mix-race marriages is so archaic and foreign to me that I honestly have a hard time wrapping my head around it. And I think that's a good thing.
In short, things may seem bad now, but understand that it's getting better at an exponential rate, we're living in a society that is accepting peace and equality as the norm. Which is something that has been promised for centuries now in the course of human history, and we're finally seeing it starting to come to fruition.
Also corn is a fruit in case you didn't know - that's the 150 pounds of smoke hemp talking
Also Emma Stone is only 26, meaning she'll be around for a long, long time.
Please don't stop being you.
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